This time is the calm before the storm truly. I find myself at peace (today at this moment ;-)) going through this process.
The struggle of decision making is real! I am on day 3 of testing and it has been a very enlightening emotional process.
Brodie and Harper have been two peas in a pod at home. They are just like in love with each other which is heart warming and hilarious. Three year old Harper is starting to understand the situation more as I have explained Brodie's liver is very sick and someone will share their liver with him. Unprovoked last night she asked me "How will God and the Drs know who will share their liver with Bro-man?" So I know her little brain is thinking and working to try to understand everything. I am grateful we have time to ease into this process.
Brodie is happy and has been eating like a champ - last time we weighed him he tipped the scales at 18lbs which is double his birthweight. Now some of that has to do with us loading up his milk with formula that is calorie packed so he can gain weight NOW!!! but little man also has an appetite to be reckoned with.
His labs from last week came back great and he seems to just be "hanging" out at his levels. We go to see Big John and Dr. Radhakrishnan on Friday for more updates.
As you all know we are in the thick of going through the Living Donor process. Our decision was for me to be tested first. This is handled with an entire different team than our team with Brodie.
I have been going through the never-ending tests since Monday - we reviewed a majority of them last night and so far it looks like I am a great match (and for peace of mind pretty dang healthy ;-)) we have done blood, ekg, echo, mri, ct-scans, consults with physicians - just to name a few. We are waiting on the blood tests which evaluate the antibodies and antigens. This will be the deal maker or breaker - the most critical piece as I understand it is the antigens. This is what will "fight" or "play nice" with Brodie's blood - so if any of these do not "match" with his - no match.
So here are some dilemmas that We have been dealing with:
- Brodie is very healthy right now his little 4 month old body is functioning and responding perfect except for his very sick liver
- His body function can change at any time - and literally time is ticking. Other organs shutting down...Infection... Cold / Flu season...
- so if I am a match do we just proceed forward "guns blazing" to ensure he goes into surgery in optimal health with no other complications?
- or do we gamble on time and hope and pray that he stays healthy as we send one other donor through the process?
- both choices add stress to our family either way we look at it
- the safest choice for Brodie is move now... Do we risk that?
If someone out there has a Crystal Ball - please let me know.
I can give you all lots more details and even more questions that I am asking myself and we are discussing. However that takes up time and I dont want to bore you all with details. Hopefully I have communicated from a high level the perplexing, mind numbing, decision making process we are going through.
Things moved fast with testing and slow with the situation- and we are 100% ok with that. I am learning now more than ever to breathe, enjoy the little breaks, soak in those baby smiles and just be.
Trust is probably my key word of the week. Trust the hands we are in and the path we are on and the people influencing our lives each day the imprints will be lasting us a lifetime.
Your support is uplifting and so helpful. Please continue praying, mojoing, good vibing - we need it all. You are getting us through this!!!!