Update: 10/16/2015 - Tick tock…Tick tock… Tick tock….
Oh what’s that? How can I concentrate on anything else when the invisible made up clock is going non-stop in my head… We. are. getting. so. close.
48 hours from now we will be admitting ourselves into the hospital
60 hours from now we will be entering a new chapter of our lives
Tick tock..Tick tock…
Things are getting real around here. We had all of our pre-op meetings with our teams yesterday. Final consultations with the surgeons, nurses, social work, healing services, blood draws, GI Teams, etc.
We are good and cleared - we cannot get sick before go time so I have been contemplating bubble life but cannot quite get down with that just yet…
Here are some things that I walked away with from our meetings:
I realized that i have spent SO much time learning and trying to digest everything that I could about Brodie that I have spent very little time thinking about myself (whoops) isn't that so funny? I mean if you along were going in for this surgery - wouldn't you want to know anything and everything about it? Normally, yes. But because Brodie is going in with me I am having a hard time focusing on me and haven't been as engaged in details about myself as perhaps I should be…
My surgery will last closer to 8 hours - so I should be getting done around 3PM
I will not be able to eat for the majority of the week I am there - like at all. Me - not eat. Oy Vey - I am not sure how this is going to happen… So since I have found that out I am not holding back when it comes to food intake… They of course will get my nutrients through an IV so not to worry.
I will have like 4 - 5 lines in for the week which will be annoying but there are worse things - expect some glamorous documentation selfies
Brodie being 5 months is not eating food so I am still supplying breastmilk and am hoping that his food supply will not be depleted because of surgery and I will be able to regulate it after the surgery - so I will be working with lactation consultants
We talked a lot about my mental state and how I will feel after the surgery…Which is always an interesting conversation because I am sure my answers vary based on my mood of that moment.
Will I be stable - hahaha yes? maybe? I think? if not can we blame it on the drugs?
Will I be a wreck - potentially…
Will I be ok with others taking care of Brodie - I think…
Am I prepared for not being in control - ummmmmmmmm… maybe?
I mean…honestly…. how can you prepare yourself for that? I have been giving myself pep talks and telling myself Brodie will be centered around love and positivity and that is what he will and does need the most. And I just have to be okay with that will not be coming from me directly I will be good vibing him myself!! Like right now, I am even struggling writing this sentence - for me to even mentally put myself out of the picture with him just makes me really sad. So I will have to overcome that major hurdle…
Here is the thing, Russ and my Mom will be with Brodie - which they are both amazing. Russ is an incredible, attentive Dad and my Mom is the kindest most nurturing soul on the planet. So of course he is going to be in perfect hands… not to mention the incredible nurses so yes of course he will be fine. He will be. It is just… well you know… No one does it like me - my little guy if you could see the way he smiles and looks at me - you would just know what I mean…
On a brighter note here is something fun - the Cleveland Clinic treats their donors top notch - so I will be staying in a wing that is typically designated for the very wealthy i.e. Royalty from other countries, Celebrities, etc. So maybe this will be my opportunity to rub elbows with some of the Elite - HA! We can swap stories and I can get some legit Hollywood gossip - bet they won’t be able to say they are there saving a life! Don’t worry I will snap a selfie with them if I have a good run-in!
Here are some new happenings with Bro-Man
Brodie’s weight is up but they think that some of that is due to water retention in his tummy
His INR levels (which is what originally we were in the ICU for - blood not clotting or coagulating) are also elevated
He also seems to be getting a little more uncomfortable when he is trying to “fill his diaper up”
We hear him whimper and cry during the night and I wonder if he is in pain…
Remember how they gave us the timeline of 5 - 6 months? Well here we are right at 5 month mark. So grateful we have our day Monday!
Really the only updates on Brodie post surgery from my last timeline update is he might be able to start eating a couple days after the surgery - they will start with a teaspoon of some milk to see what happens and how he responds and go from there….This makes us very happy.
So outside of the serious stuff I have to tell you all - I am FEELING THE VIBES!!!!!!!!! WE are feeling the vibes!
You ALL are incredible. The amazing love notes, messages, cards, texts, thoughts all are driving this amazing momentum of this positive energy surrounding our little Brodie.
I wanted to share some of the awesomeness that we have gotten since we have started our “relationship” of the BGVTribe - take some time to look through the pictures to see what an incredible group you are part of.
Keep the tributes coming - I am putting together a scrapbook together for Brodie and Harper to show them the amazing people who have been lifting us and supporting us through his time.
Bring it on!
Unity of love. Unity of faith. Unity of spirit. Unity of positivity. Unity of Good Vibes.
All 17 pounds of our little sweet strong warrior man will need all you have! Please keep it coming.
Tick tock..Tick tock - see? It doesn’t stop.
My next post will probably be from the hospital - so until then - be kind, love yourself and help someone else feel good about themselves.
LOVE - XO - T