Update: 03/03/16 - Mama Bear has been unleashed. Over the past couple weeks I have been simmering and boiling and simmering and boiling as I have watched Brodie in disbelief that he has been thrown another variable in his quest for conquering and getting through this battle.
Leave my baby alone hurdles. Stop picking on him challenges. Get out of his way obstacles.
You will not get the best of this nine month warrior. And you obviously have not met his mother. Now you have just woken up Mama Bear and I am Mad.
Hasn’t this little warrior been through enough? I mean he has gone through more than what most people do in a lifetime.
By the time he is crawling/walking (not sure what is going to come first) he will be able to get through Cleveland Clinic Main Campus by himself. And I am pretty sure at this rate there is going to be a “Brodie Boom” of babies because of the baby fever he is giving all of the nurses there (sorry in advance)…
My emotional state could give Cedar Point Roller Coasters a run for their money. I have had to refrain from posting because I am sure you all would have questioned my sanity, here is a snapshot of my emotional yo-yo state – happy, scared, sad, hopeful, upset, confused, peaceful, annnnnd repeat.
Here is a short medical update:
Brodie has a blood clot in his portal vein.
We are administering Lovenox, which is a blood thinner – to prevent the clot from getting larger and other clots from forming.
This is in shot format – given twice a day – 12 hours apart – we give this into his chunky thighs. He screams, Harper gets upset, I have to harden my nerves, find my focus and go into nurse mode – cries and screams last for about 2-3 minutes and it is done. Bruises form and remain as proof.
How long do we have to give the shots? 3 – 12 Months. I tell myself everyday - Every shot down is one less to go. He won’t remember this. And for the next 3 – 12 months one of us will have to be home at 830A/P to make sure our warrior gets his shot on time.
The Blood Clot HAS TO RESOLVE ON ITS OWN. This does not happen quickly – there is nothing you can do medically to get a clot to go away.
We are monitoring the Blood Clot by Ultrasounds we just had one last week – it was the same as before. We have another one on Monday.
Because the portal vein is semi-blocked – Brodie’s spleen (which was already enlarged) is working overtime and absorbing platelets so his blood counts are incredibly wacky.
His platelet count was at random totally low 28K last week and should be between 150 – 200K (we had a fear last week he was having a bad response to Lovenox but the test revealed he was not THANK GOD).
Where does that leave us?
Good Vibing, Praying and Hoping that blood clot to resolve on its own. Hoping Brodie’s little body responds and the vein walls absorb that clot and it goes back to functioning on its own.
What if this does not work?
Brodie will have to get a STINT put in his Portal Vein that will open up the vein walls for flow to go through around the clot. How? They go in through your neck, down with a scope and place it in the vein walls.
For some reason this has really challenged me personally.
Maybe it was because I could taste the normalcy of life coming back.
Maybe it was because we were one appointment away from having to come down to the clinic 2 – 3 times a month.
Maybe because Brodie was at peace with routines and never cried.
Maybe it was because I felt Brodie had won.
Maybe it is because I let myself believe we were there – we were right there. Right. There.
Anger is now fueling my hot pursuit.
You found the wrong Mama to mess with.
This will not bring us down.
We will defeat and get this body on track.
Agatha Christie said it best “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.” Boom. Straight up Agatha. This is my new motto.
We are in a hot pursuit for health. We are coming for ya. Blood Clot, Shots, Medicine and whatever else. Get. Out. Of. The. Way. We are strong and will crush what gets in our way.
Everyday we will do it through determination, teeth grinding through daily shots and medicine, enthusiastic milestone celebrations and seizing each day, focusing on the good.
So for right now this mama is fired up and maybe a little bit crazy … but hey – “it’s good to be alive right about now!”
PS Can you imagine my pep talks before his t-ball games I am ready for that too