Update: Last year. This time. I was watching my little guy fight the most epic battle. I watched from the outside in. I gave up my privilege of being his side kick, his healer, his soother, his ultimate caretaker – you know everything that Mother’s nightmares are made of - not being there when your baby needs you most, when your baby is sick, when you should be there…
I decided that giving him what he needed most, outweighed how I was going to “feel” about the hardships when I decided I was going to be his liver donor.
I didn’t know how I was going to do that but I looked at my husband (Russell) , my mother (Leslie) and our nurse practitioner (Cathy Tichy-Dreher) and the rest of the team at the Cleveland Clinic Children's and somehow I convinced myself they could replace me as a Mother and take care of my little guy.
The fight I saw him battle was so hard – but I was being protected. My health and well being was put first – my husband, mother and amazing Cleveland Clinic team took the reigns and guided my little man over hurdles.
Last year on this day Brodie had such a bad day.
We thought it was so cute all day he was trying to look at me I was towering above him as he was gently and delicately placed on my lap his eyes rolled right to the top of his head “to try to see me” and then the same as his big sister and our family came all together, to see him – there was a lot to be excited about!
When in reality his little body was in overdrive, adapting to new normals, medication and trying to fight.
He just could not get himself (or his body would not let him get to sleep)…. We finally realized what was going on and helped him find some sleep.
I thought to myself that night… How is my little boy ever going to be alright? How are we every going to recover from this? We will never be out of here. I just want him to have a normal life.
I took a deep breath sitting in the PICU waiting room waiting for the elevator to come and take me to my floor, my building away from my child and told myself I needed to trust. I needed to trust medicine. I needed to trust science. I needed to trust God. I needed to trust my family. I needed to trust the care givers.
I just needed to let it go and allow the “logic” that I justified to myself when I decided to be the bystander, the liver giver, the mother in the other building and allow the treatment, fixing and healing to happen.
If you ever question whether or not you should be a living donor to your child. You should.
If you ever question whether or not you should save someone’s life. You should.
If you ever wonder if you should be an anonymous donor to someone. You should.
If you want to save someone’s life on this planet. You should.
If you wonder if your should check yes on your license registration. You should.
Because no matter how hard the battle is to regain life. At least they have a second chance.
As we fast forwarded to this year and as we were planning BGVT Barn Bash – I kept thinking to myself how do I embrace this world of organ donation. How can I story tell what an amazing thing called giving life and gifting life – being an organ donor.
I blended the fun, with the serious and the inspirational and came up with a Selfie Awareness Organ Donation Station.
Check it out.
Say YES to Giving and Gifting Life.
Be the Good. Do Life.